Thursday 12 February 2009

In The Company of Friends

I am just going to dive right into this obsession. Among the hurt and all the sadness of losing Cowgirl to the horrible 'hemangiosarcoma' I have discovered a community out there of others who have gone through or are going through the same experience and I wish to thank them. If there can be comfort to such intense pain it has been for me to be in their company. I now know I am not crazy. I now know that life is just a random and thoroughly unpredictable gift that we are given. It will end. It does end. Truly, no one gets out alive. I only found you after Cowgirl had died and that was because I was in such denial after her diagnosis. I did do lots of medical research and found out all about the 'abc's of the disease and it was all bad, bad, bad. I felt that my dog would be different. My dog would not die in that horrible way. Well, of course she did and I was left trying to figure out how to bring her back. That's when I found, "Tucker", "Indiana", "Dozer", "Spencer" and "Addie". You are the ones (whether or not you know it) who are getting me through. Words aren't always adequate, but in this case they are all we thank you all for sharing...your love and your heartbreak. I miss my Cowgirl. I'll always miss my Cowgirl.


Joey Boshart said...

The moments, theycatch you, unaware....tonight, on the way home from work, we stopped to pick up some staples, Rick went in ... I looked down at my knee... and remembered ... she loved rubbing her paws on my jeaned knees.... it was three weeks ago today..tonight... we lost our little, loved one... I saw her eyelashes, her soft, pitty-pats... and longed for her in such a way that only tears could help my soul. Tears of joy for having known her. Yes, like you, I want her back, desperately. Like you... I'm better for the love she gave me... and the pain, the longing.... has moments that overwhelm, because I can't believe she's gone, but she is.... I loved every memory of her..and thank God for her and all that we shared.

Ginger Hokule'a "Gigi" said...

With tears flowing non stop I made it to read your last blogs... and even ended up reading Tucker's and Indiana's.... Thank you so very much for sharing. As is bringing even more healing in my own still-broken heart. For me it it will be 3 years this March and yet I miss her and crave her, when I come upon pictures, the little white one strand fur, still trapped in the fibers of my truck's interior (that is actually why I resist getting my trucks detailed....).... and I do not want ever forget her.....
So happy to read that you both are volunteering at the shelter, it will help your process a lot, and the presence of your two sweet souls, will help big time all those four-legged angels feel nurtured and cared...
We send you both much love, M. J. & G.

ingrid said...

Sorry I've been quiet for the past few days. This photo was too much for me. And so many of my own photo graphs are not currently available to me. I miss my girl so bad I wish I could just quit my job and dig through all my storage and find them. I want to relive every moment I've ever had with her.
I pretty much hate every day. I go through my days because I don't know what else to do.
I wish I too could take a trip somewhere. Unfortunately my next vacation is one I booked months ago and was to spend it with Indiana. Now I can't imagine how lonely that trip will be, regardless of the others going with me.

In any case. I too am great full for this company I've found. Not that I would wish this pain on anyone, but having found others in my situation. . I find that all of you are the only people I can really vent to.
so thank you.