Monday, 22 June 2009
Let's take a little time out for a fun distraction. A mindless reflection on simple, shiny, dangly objects. In the grand scheme of things it always pleases me when I can totally obsess on what is, in reality...insignificant. Why am I in lust with these earrings? This is one that I am going to have to turn over to a higher power as it baffles me. Maybe it is the fact that they are such small things and bring me such joy...such, joie de vivre...such, je ne sais quoi pas. It could be that to zoom in, is to zoom out the rest of the world and take a breather from the dreary day-to-day stuff & junk. Every once in awhile a little silliness might be just what the doctor should order.
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Every once in a while I like to play a little game with myself. I call it ' worst case scenario'. The game goes like this: I have lost everything. No money. No stuff. No nothin'. I then take inventory of who in my life I know, will help me...no questions asked. So, in my head, I list those people, not in any particular order, just as their images come up. Once again...disaster is averted. I am comforted by knowing that I do indeed have options and directions and most important 'a family' of sorts. An unconventional family made up of blood relations & chosen relations. My very own tribe, I guess. So what does this have to do with anything? Not much, other than an exercise in putting one of my own special little insanities on display. But then again, if I look at it another way I hope that there is someone connected to me that has me on their 'list'. The pictures are of a recent road trip a bit north of here. Even if I had nothing, I would still have this. Sweet.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
I have never been what I would call a 'spiritual' person. I have trouble believing in what I can't see, touch or hear. But something is changing and it is weird and I need to talk about it. In my circle of 'dog blessed' friends (and you know who you are) I am getting more and more, the sense of a certain departed soul morphing into me. Yes...the soul/presence/essence of another is worming its way, quite physically, into me. It pleases me to say that it is a comforting sense of peace and somewhat soothes the rawness of her loss. I felt the void of my dear little girlfriend most recently and its loudness and vastness spoke to me. Hence, I have started collecting rocks from all the places that we visited together as a team and it will be our memorial. Life, as sweet as it is, is quite lonely without my Cowgirl.
Friday, 5 June 2009
Dare I do this? Yes. Here goes. Why do so many people love Facebook? I do not get it and I have tried now for a few months. When I remember to log on and I start 'peeping' into other peoples' lives via their public messages to eachother, I lose interest very quickly. Let's be honest here, I enjoy a good peep just like anyone else but really, bits & pieces of conversations with no background information are just plain boring. Its like the uncomfortable feeling I get around public displays of affection that seem contrived to make others feel unloved & inadequate. I get that for some people it feels like a good and real connection but I must be missing the F-gene, because I feel even less connected when I try to participate. And don't even get me started on my 'F-friends' list as it is pathetic compared to most others. My paltry list of 6 friends is downright embarassing and a below-the-waist hit to my self esteem on those days of ' partly-cloudy with slight chance of depression'. Perhaps it is that I am too private a person and I prefer to make people work a little harder to know me...the real me...as in having to find my ramblings via this blog. Believe it or not, this is extremely risky business for me to share even this much with god knows who.