Sunday, 3 October 2010

le petit mal

I am loosely using this term to describe an episode (a Proust moment, perhaps) that recently stopped me and took me on a little trip back in time. We all have these moments, don't we? Something sets it in motion...a word...a smell...a look...it could be anything really. Suddenly, we are 'back there' again in all its glory... happy or sad or any of a million other feelings. For me, and not to belabour the issue, I time-travelled back to Cowgirl. Right there, in the woods on the most beautiful of fall afternoons I suffered ' a little death ' of sorts. The details are not so important but here they are anyway. I met a guy and his old, black & white dog on the trail. The dog had a pink, elastic bandage on one of her front legs. That was it. That pink bandage was all it took. My boarding pass. I melted on the spot as she gently pushed into me (the way old dogs do) and let me stroke her head and ears. She had some stitches on her neck, along a ragged incision from her recent surgery, and her guy said she wasn't feeling "so good these days". The tone of his voice said it all. We continued on our walk and slowly came back to life.

7 comments:

ingrid said...

Puppies may grab my heart, but old dogs grab my soul. Your post has me in tears.

Cowgirl said...

Yeah, the old ones do that.

Joey & Rick said...

I L-O-V-E the two ending photos on this post.... It's been what has been banging on my heart as of late. Those who were.. and those who ARE. They both have such wonderful gifts, and we're melancholy for the lost, and grateful for the now, but it's is all so bittersweet. New kitten, Taz (aka Ninja Kitty - her moves are truly A-Maze-Zing!) looks like my beloved Nainey, yet is so incredibly different in ways I LOVE and then she'll do stuff just like Nai... like when I change the sheets on the bed, she, like Nai always did, will run under the fitted sheet when I fluff it (which I might add deters the bed making for about 15 minutes while we play "bumper-car" cat under the sheets, just like Nai used to do). It brings me joy now... but weeks after Nai's death, every time I made the bed I cried. But no more, because what was lost, is now again, in a different way, but the same in a wonderfully blessed way.... Oh, and Taz?... today she told me she was so happy that she was our cat... and later she told Rick too. Funny how furry creatures can bless us the way they do.

Cowgirl said...

Ahhh...so sweet and yes it so nice when you are brought back to a past love, by a new love. thx, Joey

kevel88 said...

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine
Quiet thought come floating down
And settle softly to the ground
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet
I touched them and they burst apart with sweet
memories,
Sweet memories

XOXO

Cowgirl said...

Thanks K-girl for understanding my weakness....

Sparky's Mom said...

Now YOU took me back too. Oh I understand this weakness so much. Whenever I see an old pooch out there, it tears on my heart strings and I see and feel Sparky all over again. I want to hug them and squeeze them and take all their ailments away, partially because I wasn't able to do that for Sparks. They are such wonderful dogs. They deserve love and so much more ...