Dying Was NOT an Option

March 1, 1995 - December 30, 2008 I thought that it would be easy to let this day pass without any words. I thought that maybe I had said everything that I needed to say and to say more would just be belabouring the point. But, then I thought that love, in any shape or form, for any being, is something to be proud of. I am glad that I can, and do, feel with such intensity. It borders on obsession at times and that is a part of me that I finally realize, is a part of me and needs no apologies. Diving into love puts my world into place. It makes things right. It clears the fog. It makes me. Dog Bless you.

Planet of the Apes?

This is indeed a strange land. It is hard to understand how this place on the very populated west coast of the US of A, and the next-door neighbor to California, and just a few hours from Seattle, for God's sake, does not have the internet. I confess, it has been a bit of an adjustment for me and yes, I have whined and complained some about it but in reality I have come to appreciate its absence. It has freed up so much time for other things. Trite, I know and I am embarrassed and pleased with this realization. I get to play a lot more and not feel rushed. The evenings are long and luxurious. Life seems a bit more 'hands-on' and far less 'virtual'. I won't lie and say that having a connection tonight hasn't made me giddy, but I will say that I am not feeling so 'obligated' to this machine as perhaps I was just a few weeks ago. Funny, how quickly you adjust to whatever your situation makes out to be normal. This wet, coastal forest was just covered with all kinds of mushrooms these last few weeks. As you can tell if you have read my blog, I adore mushrooms and just couldn't resist showing off the biggest one I have ever, and probably will ever, find. Before we got that baby sauteed, one of our resident deer had it for lunch, right off the table. Apparently, someone got distracted by a beach.

Comfort Dog

Some pictures do indeed say it all. See Spot Sleep. See Spot Wake Up !

Pokey Puppy Attacked Again !

Some things are just not to be understood. For instance, what is is about this particular stuffed animal that seems to drive dogs insane? This adorable, little thing has had its face ripped apart and sewn back together THREE times. Cowgirl could almost not be in the same room with this thing. If she caught a glimpse of it she became obsessed with getting it and killing it. Let me say here that normally, a stuffed animal person, I am not, but I really like this one and maybe that is its attraction, plain & simple. I like it and therefore it must be destroyed? Well, the other day little Miss PonyGirl spied it for the first time. I watched as it happened. The gears in her head started spinning, her eyes widened in disbelief (?) or was it desire, and in no time flat, she was on it. If I hadn't been there to wrestle it away from her and we are talking 'WWF' here, this pup not only would have killed 'pokey' but I am fairly certain, she would have eaten it. The legacy lives on.

Keeping the BadThings at Bay

Maybe its the names of places around here...Devil's Punchbowl, Boiler Bay, Road's End and my current favorite Cape Foulweather, or its the wind and the rain, in combination, the whole night through that spin me into bad dreams. But lately, the big bad wolf has been at my door. I don't really put much stock in dreams foretelling the future or any such thing but it is always interesting where the mind does go in the dark of night. It is almost as scary as some of my secret fantasies (yes, those kind, and no, I am not going there). A thought just did occur to me. Maybe, just maybe, it is the wild mushrooms we have been eating that are the culprits. Those delectable specimens that all the local mushroom hunters have assured us are quite edible and grow all over the place. They are good, let me tell you. Sauteed in olive oil, butter, with garlic, shallot and some hot red chiles, a little fresh parlsey and a squeeze of lemon, then served with a nice crusty baguette. Oh, and don't forget the wine -- either a dry, chilled chardonnay or a heavier, deeper red. Not too picky as both are good choices. The 'King Boletes' are the ones we are gorging on, and the orange ones with the white spots are the 'Fly Agarics' that we just look at and admire. Oh, and just so you know, none of my bad dreams has so far come to pass, so mushrooms are still on the menu.

DEW

The reason there are no photos here of the beautiful and spectacular beach that we are currently living by is because of that tiny little word...DEW. It appears on my camera whenever I attempt to take an outdoor shot. It then shuts the camera down. I guess Oregon is a little wet and my old camera is way too sensitive. I have figured out a way to trick it though, so next post I hope to share some shots of life outside the door. In the meantime let me say that it is wicked nice here. A perfect place to be at this time of the year. Very few people anywhere and miles and miles of wide, open, wild coastline to trek. The new girl is really enjoying seafood. She finds lots of crab legs and clams to eat on our morning hikes. I hope the shells are a good source of calcium or something, because she eats those too. She also became crazy-happy yesterday when she found a pelican wing and started to devour it while running away from me. I think that explains the hacking that is going on today. Other than that PonyGirl is having the time of her life so far.

'there' as in 'not here'

Leaving this cold, rainy, dreary weather and heading south of the border into...well...into... more cold, rainy, dreary weather. But the difference being a stretch of wide- open, wild Pacific Ocean beach just outside our door. Yes, it seems that being 'settled in' is nice for a while, until thoughts about somewhere else and wondering what it would be like to spend some time in... fill in the blank...start to meander around in the mind. Well, that is how it, innocently, starts. Then it snowballs (curious choice of word, eh?) and builds on itself and suddenly things are falling into place. Lists are being made and checked off, friends are being told, and farewell dinners are being eaten. Essential stuff is packed. The notion of endless possibilities and the anticipation of what is out there just down the road start to become the topics of discussion. It's not that I don't appreciate this very moment. I do, as much as anyone else. It's just that the concept of 'there' as in 'not here' is so alluring. I'm thinking it is just a slight disorder, or maybe a disability or perhaps just a syndrome that a few of us suffer from. And suffer, we do. More postings from the edge as internet is available.

Cloudy with Chance of Depression

So much has happened this past year. I never thought that October would be my month of anniversaries, but it is, or so it has become. Briefly to recap... one life was condemned, one was almost taken and one friendship was ended. Not to be melodramatic, but this month last year was the start of a particularly bumpy 'road trip' or rather, what I like to fondly call, the spiral down 'Depression Lane'. Of course, like most of everybody's lives, the year started out with all the normal ups & downs. The ones that are usually handled quite easily. But like a tornado picking up fuel, the situation quickly went from bad to very bad. By October it was at its strongest and most dangerous. Unfortunately, I couldn't get out of the way and went from a storm-watcher to a storm victim. By the end of that month I could have had VICTIM tattooed on my forehead. Yes, I really wrapped my head around it. It's funny, weirdly funny, that once we cave to our circumstances, we are defined so differently. Everything that was 'us' before, changes. For me, even the way I held myself changed. I temporarily lost my braveness and became a sort of timid creature. Life felt beyond control in any way. I was always reminding myself that there really wasn't any point so way bother? I began to be consumed by sadness. Sadness with a capital 'S'. SADNESS in all caps. Like a lot of situations in life, things were about to get even worse. I should have heeded the evacuation order but who the hell was thinking straight when it was just so damn pathetic all around? Certainly, not me. I'm sure I was a real pain in the 'arse for the next few months and only got through by the grace of my beloveds. They were the ones that stitched my heart back together. Prognosis: the patient will live. I started this post to talk about the upcoming road trip to the coast of Oregon, USA and ended up here. Guess I took a wrong turn somewhere. Sorry, that will have to wait until another day.

My Little Pony

A friend sent me this picture of the PonyGirl posing at Kokanee Provincial Park just recently. She looks far more distinguished than she actually is. She also looks less 'starving poster puppy' than she actually is. This dog seems to be able to eat as much as she wants and doesn't gain any weight. Perhaps we should make her the subject of a study. She obviously has some mutant gene that devours all excess calories and any fat that is consumed. We are calling her 'boney-maroney' and 'skinny-bilink' . Yes, she is being fed lots of good, homemade foods. Lots of protein, calcium-rich foods, fruits & vegetables. The fruits are of her own choosing whenever we are out walking as there are lots of apples, pears and plums still around. A recent discovery of hers has been learning to crack open walnuts and hazelnuts. This town has become an all-you-can-eat buffet. She seems healthy and happy. Big smile.

Compassionate Communication

There it is, her name painted on a rock...placed at the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, USA. Madir and Jeffrey, who are the most thoughtful of people, took the time to do this while they were there helping at the sanctuary. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it. It always does when I see or hear 'cowgirl'. What a sweet gesture and such a nice honour for my 'girl', my 'baddog', my 'sweet thing, ' my 'tao dog', my 'bestdog', to be included in that spectacular place. This lump in my throat is making it difficult for me to properly say "thank you" . (That's little GiGi at Best Friends Sanctuary -- a friend indeed.